Kicking Self-Doubt to the Curb

As a child we could imagine ourselves as becoming anything in the world, a ballerina, an astronaut, a marine biologist…. (I wanted to swim with dolphins!). We never doubted we had it in us to become these things. We saw life through the eyes of our parents and teachers who said we could do anything and be anything… we were perfect just the way we were. Then as we grew older we start to realize maybe they were wrong. We received a bad grade in a class, the boy or girl we liked didn’t know we existed, a cruel teacher for some reason didn’t like us, the first love of our life dropped us like we meant nothing, we didn’t get that dream job that we just knew was made for us. As we learned these life lessons we started to think, maybe we aren’t as perfect as we thought, maybe we aren’t really good at anything… and self-doubt is born and forever present in our day-to-day life.

Everyone learns to deal with self-doubt in their own way but no one, I mean no one is immune to it. We really are our worse critics and for some this voice is louder than others, I am one of those people. I’ve learned that if I don’t quell this voice fast it can become quite ugly and no one is as mean to me as I am. In fact my husband has gotten mad at me many times for this behavior. In his eyes I am the perfect woman but in mine I see so many things I wish I had done differently or I wish I could change. But with self-doubt comes self-confidence and this is the voice I am trying to train to be louder. Even when I am feeling not so confident I will push myself to show confidence. It isn’t an easy transformation and as I progress I realize just how lacking in confidence I really am.

Self-LovePIN IT

My husband is an incredibly wonderful man and has helped me to start to see myself in a different light. When I start berating myself he gets mad and tells me I’m wrong and boosts me up. One of the things that really resonated with me is that I can not think of a single instance where I couldn’t handle something. I have been strong enough to get through anything, and never have I had to throw in the towel. Every time life has handed me a problem I was able to solve it and each time it has made me stronger. One of my favorite quotes “That which does not kill us makes us stronger” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche …. you can’t get any truer than that! Shouldn’t I be invincible by now!!

I have learned that I need to be patient with myself, I am a work in progress like everyone else and the only thing I will regret in this life is not trying! Plus I am perfect…. well at least as perfect as anyone else is!

My new quest……. Self-actualization!

 

Comment

20 Comments

  • Deidre Clark
    February 19, 2013

    This is one of the reasons I have not bothered to post to my blog in months…guess I better get back to it. Thanks for sharing!!

    • redhot
      Deidre Clark
      February 19, 2013

      Your welcome and I have been struggling in posting on mine as well for that reason. Share your blog address with me and I would love to check it out! Thank you!

  • Dan Martin
    February 19, 2013

    I only wish that you could see how awesome you truly are. I’m the lucky one to have you in my life.

    • redhot
      Dan Martin
      February 19, 2013

      Thank you baby 🙂 See told you wonderful husband!

  • Kelly DeBie
    February 19, 2013

    We must all find a way to force the negative self talk out and let the good in. 🙂 Love this piece.

    • redhot
      Kelly DeBie
      February 19, 2013

      Isn’t that the truth. It is amazing what a struggle that is. But we will all be strong together!

  • Sherri
    February 19, 2013

    You are amazing and I adore you. I love this post! KICK IT! 🙂

    • redhot
      Sherri
      February 19, 2013

      You know I am going to kick it! LOL! Thank you Sherri for your sweet words and for reading my blog. I think you are pretty awesome yourself!!

  • Lily from It's A Dome Life
    February 19, 2013

    This is such a great line and one I am stealing for myself too, “One of the things that really resonated with me is that I can not think of a single instance where I couldn’t handle something.” Amen to that! It’s true, why don’t we think of that more often?

    • redhot
      Lily from It’s A Dome Life
      February 19, 2013

      We don’t think about it because we are to busy criticizing ourselves to remember. But we will just have to be there to support each other when we forget. Thank you for commenting on my post 🙂 You are an amazing woman my friend!!

  • Alex@LateEnough
    February 19, 2013

    I love that last line about being as perfect as everyone else. One of the most spiritual people I know always says that the best we can ever be is human and my other friend always responds “isn’t that great!”

    • redhot
      Alex@LateEnough
      February 19, 2013

      I think we always view other people through rose colored glasses. Their life must be wonderful and perfect but I bet they think the same thing about us. Love that “The best we can ever be is human”! I may have to borrow that 🙂

  • javacia a.k.a. writeousbabe
    February 19, 2013

    Thanks so much for this post. I constantly struggle with self-doubt despite the fact that I have a wonderful husband and a great network of women who are constantly encouraging me. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of having childlike faith in God. This post reminds me that we also need to have childlike faith in ourselves.

    • redhot
      javacia a.k.a. writeousbabe
      February 19, 2013

      “Childlike faith in ourselves”… I love that. I was feeling like it was hitting me this morning and decided it was a great time to write about it. Thank you Javacia!

  • Marie Sutton
    February 19, 2013

    Loved it! Thanks for sharing.

    • redhot
      Marie Sutton
      February 19, 2013

      Thank you so much Marie and thank you for reading it.

  • Andrea @ Maybe It's Just Me
    March 3, 2013

    Headed over from debeehive, and so glad I did! I thought I was going to be a famous singer someday…even after not making the 4th grade chorus, but not for long after. I fee like I need a cheerleader, but can’t find one, and just haven’t convinced myself to shake my own pompoms yet (hmmm…that didn’t sound quite right, but I will try to be confident that it’s ok) Looking forward to your next quest…good luck!

    • redhot
      Andrea @ Maybe It’s Just Me
      March 4, 2013

      Thank you so much for visiting my site. I’m glad you found me! We all just need to be each others cheerleaders. It’s easier to feel good about yourself if you have others cheering you one. I will check out your blog as well. Thank you again!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous Post
What Change The New Year Brings
Read More
Next Post
Spring Has Sprung
Read More